Feature
An artistic tribute to the pavement-based delicacies in our favorite retro action games.
By Ray Barnholt
Videogames get enough crap for being excessively violent, but today's games aren't as bad as they used to be. Back then, the average walk-and-punch beat-em-ups would also encourage our nation's youth to eat food off the ground, thanks to the health-regenerating food that would appear out of broken barrels, telephone booths, or fire hydrants, and then lay on the filthy ground as hooligans got the snot beat out of them inches away. Absurd at first, it was soon a widely accepted part of the genre, and really, the unwavering dedication of those game developers is worth remembering and respecting. Here, now, is a selection of the best foods from the beat-em-ups of the '90s. They're reflective of a simpler time, when tables and silverware were mere novelties for the common man.
Appetizers
Apples (Streets of Rage 2 | Sega | 1992)
Plump, fresh apples from northwest Washington state, served one-at-a-time on a saucer. Though fresh, placement on city streets may lead to catching scurvy.
Cheese (Alien Vs. Predator | Capcom | 1994)
Farm fresh sampler of American cheese on bare plate. May include whatever saltines we had left in the back. Goes great with our complementary bread!
Salad (Cadillacs & Dinosaurs | Capcom | 1992)
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